I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
