I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize