there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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