I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
