The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
