I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
What is this nonsense on the table
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.