Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying

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  (202): either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying http://tfl.nu/ahxy
  Replies (2) Good night (630) Bad night (1050)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?

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  (850): so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall? http://tfl.nu/9055
  Replies (36) Good night (2626) Bad night (801)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.

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  (502): he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel. http://tfl.nu/c4zc
  Replies (42) Good night (1574) Bad night (4913)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?

  (224): View more from Illinois

  story of my life.

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  (717): do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were? (224): story of my life. http://tfl.nu/syxz
  Replies (15) Good night (2658) Bad night (4186)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.

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  (304): they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise. http://tfl.nu/xovb
  Replies (7) Good night (1427) Bad night (915)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.

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  (330): The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life. http://tfl.nu/qfsl
  Replies (5) Good night (4114) Bad night (727)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis

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  (310): I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis http://tfl.nu/97wg
  Replies (22) Good night (2051) Bad night (753)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.

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  (917): You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year. http://tfl.nu/e5jh
  Replies (4) Good night (1460) Bad night (581)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Brilliant thought; pill pong.

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  What could go wrong?

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  (651): Brilliant thought; pill pong. (651): What could go wrong? http://tfl.nu/lofi
  Replies (12) Good night (956) Bad night (1183)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?

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  (306): My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck? http://tfl.nu/wbbs
  Replies (6) Good night (764) Bad night (504)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.

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  (519): If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving. http://tfl.nu/lmm0
  Replies (10) Good night (1143) Bad night (845)
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  (805): View more from California

  Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.

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  (805): Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/zu2d
  Replies (6) Good night (420) Bad night (1768)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE

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  (916): There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE http://tfl.nu/puex
  Replies (2) Good night (755) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.

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  (248): I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks. http://tfl.nu/be9w
  Replies (3) Good night (294) Bad night (597)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?

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  (415): Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license? http://tfl.nu/k1wl
  Replies (9) Good night (818) Bad night (240)

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