i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.