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• (281): View more from Texas

  I just know... :) goodntight

  (1-281): View more from Texas

  Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...

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• (518): View more from New York

  i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (518): View more from New York

  At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck

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• (343): View more from Ontario

  Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (909): View more from California

  I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.

  (1-309): View more from Illinois

  ...Wow...

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I could be a kindergarten teacher

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision

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