I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Two words: blizzard sex
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
