Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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