Are we in a gay sports bar?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
