Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
