Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
