I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
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started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
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No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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