he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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