glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize