I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my night got REAL pukey
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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