He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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