Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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