omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
