She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
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