I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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