ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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