end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize