You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
