Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
