Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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