did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
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Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
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Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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