OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
