so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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