I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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