Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

therell be strippers and coke right?

(703): View more from Virginia

no strippers. just coke.

(202): View more from Washington, DC

i hate this fuckin recession

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(520): View more from Arizona

im six kinds of drunk right now

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(970): View more from Colorado

you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.

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(760): View more from California

Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(951): View more from California

now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.

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(818): View more from California

apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"

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(705): View more from Ontario

Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.

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(817): View more from Texas

Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.

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