Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  it hurts more in the daytime

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  (512): it hurts more in the daytime http://tfl.nu/5j5m
  Replies (13) Good night (631) Bad night (2390)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.

  (1-515): View more from Iowa

  yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.

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  (515): there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up. (1-515): yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that. http://tfl.nu/isva
  Replies (9) Good night (2732) Bad night (788)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.

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  (608): I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter. http://tfl.nu/xqss
  Replies (13) Good night (3577) Bad night (1702)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.

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  (910): And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship. http://tfl.nu/btcq
  Replies (17) Good night (4618) Bad night (1997)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night

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  (803): Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night http://tfl.nu/ewza
  Replies (9) Good night (1184) Bad night (6362)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible

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  (816): I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible http://tfl.nu/v92i
  Replies (3) Good night (2315) Bad night (718)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums

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  (740): I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums http://tfl.nu/g3fl
  Replies (4) Good night (1711) Bad night (703)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.

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  (778): the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting. http://tfl.nu/qa9b
  Replies (1) Good night (1293) Bad night (678)
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  (949): View more from California

  And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex

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  (949): And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex http://tfl.nu/q2uq
  Replies (7) Good night (2756) Bad night (634)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Watching her eat just hurts me

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  (303): Watching her eat just hurts me http://tfl.nu/nzv7
  Replies (7) Good night (450) Bad night (1030)
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  (914): View more from New York

  He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.

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  (914): He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen. http://tfl.nu/pgtg
  Replies (3) Good night (1989) Bad night (570)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"

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  (954): He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good" http://tfl.nu/rht4
  Replies (2) Good night (523) Bad night (187)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.

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  (518): Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus. http://tfl.nu/2yyd
  Replies (1) Good night (735) Bad night (244)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too

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  (978): So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too http://tfl.nu/cj9m
  Replies (10) Good night (1748) Bad night (535)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change

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  (301): I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change http://tfl.nu/8tjs
  Replies (2) Good night (257) Bad night (393)

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