It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.