Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  He has that thing where they hang SUPER low

  (650): View more from California

  Ewww!! Elephantitis

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  (313): He has that thing where they hang SUPER low (650): Ewww!! Elephantitis http://tfl.nu/rmok
  Replies (7) Good night (706) Bad night (1258)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  So drunk i had to piss sitting down...

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  (803): So drunk i had to piss sitting down... http://tfl.nu/050t
  Replies (7) Good night (1021) Bad night (468)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.

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  (781): I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation. http://tfl.nu/r77c
  Replies (19) Good night (5119) Bad night (1263)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?

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  (508): Why did you put hummus in my pillow case? http://tfl.nu/0gk1
  Replies (9) Good night (1410) Bad night (3120)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.

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  (303): she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays. http://tfl.nu/t82v
  Replies (8) Good night (4905) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?

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  (815): Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers? http://tfl.nu/gqlt
  Replies (9) Good night (2525) Bad night (1289)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.

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  (541): Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one. http://tfl.nu/3exv
  Replies (15) Good night (1382) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  You and the dog were competed for the water dish

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  (508): You and the dog were competed for the water dish http://tfl.nu/2x76
  Replies (2) Good night (436) Bad night (687)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.

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  (717): After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again. http://tfl.nu/ujp5
  Replies (0) Good night (629) Bad night (827)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?

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  (513): Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed? http://tfl.nu/wl2q
  Replies (5) Good night (1233) Bad night (404)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.

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  (541): I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out. http://tfl.nu/0h9b
  Replies (1) Good night (655) Bad night (342)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"

  (707): View more from California

  communist

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  (415): we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own" (707): communist http://tfl.nu/tujw
  Replies (5) Good night (1139) Bad night (557)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.

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  (601): Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening. http://tfl.nu/53fl
  Replies (7) Good night (652) Bad night (239)
• Favorite

  (226): View more from Ontario

  I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats

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  (226): I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats http://tfl.nu/76ap
  Replies (0) Good night (427) Bad night (216)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs

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  (651): Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs http://tfl.nu/pah7
  Replies (2) Good night (543) Bad night (129)

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