he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today