I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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