therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
im six kinds of drunk right now
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
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now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
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How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.