I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?