I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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