end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize