I'm so fucking centered right now
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
