Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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