Betty ford says i'm here all night
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Couch. On fire.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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