every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize