are you so shy because you have an std?
do herpes really smell.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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