Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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