I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize