Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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