Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We had sex on a dog bed..
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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