the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
