Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Randomize
