Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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