You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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