hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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