Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
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if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
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Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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