I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize