We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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