Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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