idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
