Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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