I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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