Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
