Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize