It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize