bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
