I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
