Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
